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Of Eid

Eid Round-up

Anjum Ibrahim

Eid, once again, was celebrated on different days in different parts of the country. It does make me wonder! I mean if we cannot even agree on the date of our most important annual festival then how are we going to end the inter-provincial rivalry that has been the root cause of severe law and order problems? True that General Musharraf has, during his three months as the Chief Executive, emphasised several times the need for ending provincial disharmony which, allegedly, Mian Sahib had fuelled what with appointing a Punjabi in every possible post and true that the General does seem sincere but I say to you: all the army monitoring in the world and all the experts just couldn't put our Humpty Dumpty together. And we all went our separate ways on Eid day.

A friend of mine disagreed. She reckons that the Pathans decided a long time ago that they would not fast for 30 days, come what may. Talk about the end of ethnicity in this

country! So they make sure that by midnight latest someone goes to the mosque and announces the personal sighting of the moon. Oh, like they want to see the new moon after 29 days and so they do, I said tentatively. I don't know that, she said categorically, but I do know that they just go to the mosques and declare Eid after 29 days. Another friend argues that since the festival is dependant on the moon perhaps the new moon appears earlier in NWFP than in the Punjab and Sindh. Perhaps. Who am I to argue with logic to do with the moon?

So what is the solution? I asked. Well, why can't they follow the scientific approach and calculate when the new moon will appear instead of relying on the naked eye? Like the Saudis do.

You mean disband the Ruet-Hilal committee? I asked incredulously.

Sure, why not? I mean we pay them a lot of money for this task which can be used for other purposes. In the past there were times when we had to provide them with planes. I mean talk of the irony. We provide a latter day technology to them, airplanes, to view the moon with the naked eye, like in the days of the Prophet, PBUH, Sheema said.

Yes, I agree but isn't it impossible to take away from the Maulvis what we have already given them? I mean no government feels it can take away...

Ah, but that is why we supported the army take-over. They need to sort out the Maulvis.

So you reckon General Musharraf must add this to his seven point agenda?

Yes, most definitely.

And then there was Kulsoom Nawaz. She had to first travel to Islamabad to see her son, who is in detention there, and then to Karachi to seen her husband to wish them Eid Mubarak. Is this harassment? you might well ask. Is it poetic justice, others might well say. Or is it Pakistani politics? I say this is Pakistani Eid which has to do with, I am afraid to say, a Pakistani moon, which I define as temperamental and untrustworthy to say the least.

Anyway, General Musharraf this week past urged the bureaucracy to end red tapism. Now I ask you: Isn't it like asking a snake not to bite? Or like asking the Indians to stop maligning us? Or like asking these very bureaucrats to become competent?

Meanwhile, the Lahore administration was expected to be extremely active during Eid holidays which is precisely why leaves of all were cancelled, be they policemen, sanitation staff, or any other employee of the provincial government other than the bureaucrats. Yes, the same who have been exhorted to end red tapism. Maybe, they were given time out so they could think over Eid how to go about ending red tapism. Why the sanitation staff, you ask? Well, they are to sprinkle lime and water outside mosques and public places. Why? Well I am not sure I know. Maybe, because lime cuts through grease, I think. Why would there be grease outside mosques and in public places? I don't know.

And all those who thought that the good work of Mian Sahib Junior Most, Shahbaz Sharif, in getting rid of encroachments suffered a relapse have only to know that the MCL magistrate has sealed toilets in front of Tollington Market cause they were under the control of a Qabza group. What will people do if they need to use toilets in that area, you ask? In this country, my friend, the rich and poor alike, the literate and the illiterate alike, do not need toilets to attend to calls of nature.